Cliche #1: Starting A Blog

I have never considered myself "trendy." I am usually behind the times, and don't realize something is cool until it's not all that cool anymore. It took me years (and yes, I mean years) to start a xanga (oh yes, remember those), and by the time I had mine up and going, everyone else was deleting their account. Story of my life.

I like to think of myself as "classic." It sounds way better than "lame."

But... as behind the times as I may usually be, I am trying to jump on this bandwagon sooner rather than later. I have decided that I, like many of my dear friends, need an outlet. I need a place where I can write down things that matter, things that don't, thoughts that I have, feelings that I am struggling with.... so, thus... a blog.

Here's the thing: I am starting this blog primarily because my mom has to have pretty major surgery in a couple of weeks. And, the truth is... I need to find a balance between being honest about how I'm feeling (I'm freaking out) and emotionally vomiting on all of the wonderful, supportive people who ask how I am.

So... this blog, at least for a while, will be my emotional vomit. If you want to know what's REALLY going on, please feel free to read it. But, understand - I am going to try not to "edit" myself on here. I go through the day saying, "I'm doing okay" and only partially meaning it, so I need a place to say "I'm terrified, and I'm hurting, and I don't know what to do with all of the conflicting thoughts rolling around in my head." And, I need a place to say "surgery went _______, next steps" are, so that everyone who cares to know, can know.

Well, that's my caviat.

It is my hope and my constant prayer than in about two months, my mom will be back to being the amazingly energetic and overly committed lady that she is, so that I can get down to writing about things like "already/not yet," and "I don't meant to be rude, but *insert insult here*," (hence the title).

Until then, thanks for caring enough to figuratively "hold back my hair." I honestly couldn't ask for a better support system.